Respect one’s mother and father

In the Ten Commandments, the Torah commands that we honor our mother and father, but in this week’s parsha, Kedoshim, Hashem commands us to respect our parents, what exactly is the difference?

When one respects his parents, he may not contradict his parents words, he should never sit in his parents seat, if his parents insult him public, he is not permitted to put them to shame, rather he should take the humiliation, knowing that Hashem makes the final judgment.

When one honors his parents, he must make sure they are given food and drink, and that they are taken care of.

 Moreover, in this week’s parsha, respecting the mother is mentioned before the father, and with regards to the command to honor one’s parents, the father is mentioned before hand, why is that? As children, we are to honor and fear our parents equally; however, if one’s parents both make a request, the child must adhere to his father first, since the mother is also obligated to honor her husband.

Moreover, because children are less fearful of their mothers than of their fathers, the Torah commands that a child should pay more respect to his mother, since he will naturally be more fearful of his father, thereby, the Torah mentions the father first when commanding whom to honor first.  However, if one’s parents wish that he transgress the Torah, the child must disobey his parents words. Additionally, the mitzvah of studying Torah, in a yeshiva, etc., supersedes honoring one’s parents.

In all, it is clear to see how important Hashem views honoring and respecting one’s parents. Our parents gave us life, and they gave us the tools to develop into the people we have become today. All that is commanded of us is that we give them the honor and respect they are due, is that so hard? Unfortunately, we live in a time where the roles are reversed and we arrogantly stand tall assuming that we are deserving of everything our parents give us, and we feel deprived when our desires aren’t met. Who are we to make such requests?  We should all strive to run to honor and respect our parents, even when every bone in our body tells us we can’t, not only for the goodness and compassion they have bestowed upon us, but because Hashem has commanded it of us.

FUN FACT- a man must always obey his parents his entire life; however, a woman, after she is married, must adhere to her husband first and foremost and must respect her husband’s wishes.